Not too much to report. Its been a fairly rough week. The first few days he was pretty sick, and of course he tried to do too much. Then the side effects from the "shot" kicked in. He was in constant pain. He couldn't even be hugged. I locked him in the bedroom a couple of nights, so he could get some good nights rest for once. The dogs, of course, stayed outside his door. I found him "free" fudgecycles. They are fat free, sugar free, lactose free and "something else"free. Sounds disgusting, but since his taste buds are messed up he doesn't know, and at least its something he can eat.
He tried to go to work so he could "earn his keep", that didn't go over well. He barely made the ride home in one piece. I raced home expecting to find him unconscious in the middle of the floor. He did make it to the bed, but he was shot. Slowly he is learning his limitations, yet he continues to fight them.
We had a nice dinner out with Tom and Vicky last night. It was the first meal he has been able to "taste" in quite some time. It is also the first time we haven't brought half of his dinner home to the dogs! (they were NOT pleased)
Just like his physical state is a roller coaster of ups and downs, so is his mental state. If any of you have come across this yet, here is my advice... Hang in there, he needs to vent and get it all off his chest, the good, the bad and quite often the ugly. Remember the "bad stuff" is often the cancer talking. Im know sometimes he feals as if he is the only one who "fears the worst". It is important that we all continue to keep those thoughts and comments to ourselves. Cry and shout in private, thats what I do. The added pressure and stresses are too much to add on him right now.
On a good note, his blood count was on point today. :) Next week, we will be at the half way point of chemo... cross your fingers, he gets his favorite nurse. Apparently the donuts and bagels he brings for the nurses isnt enough to keep them from their acts of revenge on him!
Vicky in Washington sent a website for some chemo t-shirts. I have to stay off the site, or I will become broke! I did get the shirt that you now see at the top of the web page. thanks vicky!
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3 comments:
Hang in there, Sweetie! I think of you guys EVERY day... Vicki (from Washington)
William-all the years I played against you I never could figure how a 100lb skinny guy could play against the best and win as often as you did.maybe it was team work but you were always a tough, nasty son of a bitch to play against. If you treat cancer the way you treated your opponents then you'll be ok. Take care my brother.
Joey P.
Hey Wendy, It's Jean Zilli's friend, Megan, again. I'm so glad to read these blogs as I feel like I am watching you go through what I did with my father. Its funny to say I'm "glad" but it makes me feel almost like we are family. I can honestly say that I understand what you are going through and I think of you often. I know that it takes a strong person to survive cancer and an equally strong person to walk that path with the person that is sick. You are certainly a strong woman and I can only say that Billy is lucky to have you in his life. Lean on those around you... don't be shy. Call me if you need to. Sometimes a stranger is better than a friend at times. (sorry to say but its honest.)
Always, Megan
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