A day at the races.

I love L.A. was the theme for our trip to Santa Anita Park in Southern California. I'm sure Randy Newman had better pitch when he sang it but the weekends big winner Tony "Synthetic" Posella was belting it outloud over and over while cashing winning tickets. His father "The Preacher" and Jon "the bomber" Farese weren't quite as lucky nor was I. But hell I was lucky just to be there and equally as grateful. The flight out was brutal and a very long day. I wore a mask on the plane however the cabin pressure was a killer. By the time we arrived I was shot but Wendy was smart enough to make me take every remedy known to man including my prescriptions so I was prepared. Friday and Saturday were race days and it was great. Perfect weather, beautiful race track, gorgeous horses and tons of fun. Mix in a few cold ones and you've got a good day. Didn't cash many tickets but Tony was banging daily doubles left and right so we had fun. Saturday was special as the best horses in the world competed and the track was jumping. After losing most of my money I finally connected big on Albertus Maximus, a tip from Tony of course. Problem was the track after taking all my money for 2 days, didn't want to pay me or Tony. Seems when you win more than $600 bucks they want your social security number. Thank God I'm not Mexican right? Neither of us had this of corse so they refused to pay us. Those of you whom know me well know that this didn't sit well with me. Let's just say a good chunk of the 50,00 strong knew I was unhappy. After inferring that the I.R.S. agent was a rotten tramp I was coaxed to my seats by the Preacher. No way I was taking no for an answer. I was able to pay off a bartender with a ss" number and card to cash our tickets. Turns out he was just out of the military and he was tax exempt anyway....so he made a few bucks, we got our money and in turn screwed over the I.R.S. who got nothing...nada....zippo....hahahahaha. In all I came home even, had a great time with friends and was happy to get back home still ticking.

Concerning my health I'm taking the week off. Wendy's got the juicer out and the experimets have begun. Im expecting some interesting fruit drinks and I'll let you all know about my juicing experience next week.

May the Horse Be With You.

California Dreamin

All the leaves aren't brown but will be soon now that frost is among us and the sky is gray. Maybe I will be safe and warm in L.A. , well actually Malibu Beach and I'm looking forward to going. We leave on Thursday for California and the Breeders Cup an exciting time for horseman and gamblers around the globe. Fact is though I'm apprehensive about going, feel like dogshit to coin a phrase and am afraid I'm going to bring our group down with my health issues. But I've known Tony Posella and his dad since I was 7 years old and Jon Farese since early High School and they know what they're up against. Flying will be tough it's a long flight and a long day for me. I can't swallow and it's hard to breathe at times, very painful. My neck and chest area burn constantly from the radiation and I'm quite swollen. I get fevers at night when I'm tired and become achie and restless. I hope the boys will be ok with me I don't want to bring them down. I also feel guilty about going since I've been useless both at home and work lately and generally let everybody down in my life. But this trip is a gift from my friends not something I've planned for myself so I'm going to go despite my misgivings. I'll miss Wendy and my dogs but maybe this will be a break for Wendy as well. No patient to have to look after for a few days. Thats what I've become lately, a patient with needs and it sucks.

I was cruising through radiation or the first 2 weeks then wham .......knocked me on my ass. My skin is burned and my ears ring 24/7. There's a constant migrane like headache and body aches but the worst symptom is the chest pressuse that makes it so hard to breathe. There's been mornings lately that I just can't take the dogs and I get sooo frustrated . Maybe my mini vacation will help. I'm hopeful.

As always thanks you guys who call, write and well wish. It all helps. Radiation is over Wednesday thank God. I hope to start my physical rehab November 1st and get my mojo back and get stronger. My regimine will be a juicing program of fruits and vegetables and include protein drinks, plenty of exercise and light weight training. Eliminating carbs and fatty foods and some meats for awhile, at least until Thanksgiving. Then we'll see where we are and hear what the Doctors have to say.

My Oncologist in charge Dr.Bednar had a son 2 weeks ago and named him William. Pretty cool. I have faith in him and few others at this point. Hopefully I won't need any of them soon I hope I hope I hope.

California here I come. BS

extra innings

Well, today was supposed to be the finale. For some crazy reason, that we still don't understand, they have upped the radiation to 18 days. That means he will be going next week, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.
He is not doing very well. He has sores all over his upper chest and is in excruciating pain. The little white pills, when he can swallow, have become his friend. The difficulty in breathing is so bad, he cant sleep for fear he wont be able to breathe.
He is staying strong, not complaining, but the pain is visible. The symptoms should last a few weeks to months before he starts feeling any better. There will be good, then bad days. The roller coaster rolls on.
3 more days...............

4 to go

Billy did fairly well for the first 2 weeks of radiation. He tries to work for a few hours, then he drives himself to the hospital. He usually sounds OK afterwards, but as the evening progresses he has a harder time. His throat feels like the worst case of Strep imaginable. He has been able to eat, but not much. As the days have gone by it has become more and more difficult for him to swallow. He had gained some of his weight back before it began, then in the first week he dropped 6lbs. The doctor, nurse and nutritionist sat him down for a little intervention. They told him he had one week to put a little more weight on, or the feeding tube was going in. That didn't go over very well. He did gain 2 lbs, but hasn't been weighed this week yet. The last few days he has been having problems breathing. He is winded and cant catch his breath. It feels as though there is a great pressure on his chest making it difficult to breath.
He forces himself to take the dogs every morning to the park, so he can use that as a form of exercise. That has been very difficult also. Yesterday he wasn't even able to get out of bed, and I took the dogs. He of course, was not happy.
He is doing his best and we are carrying on as normal as possible, getting closer to that light at the end of this dark tunnel.