crossing our fingers

Well, treatment was yesterday. It is supposed to be the last scheduled one. He did fairly well this time. I guess the last one was so bad it made this one seem easier. One needle... in bed all night, but ate a little dinner... this morning, he was up walking around driving me nuts. But, that's all a good sign. He is still queasy and not looking forward to the nasty shot later today.. last one of those we hope.
Here is what the doc said yesterday.
He does think there could be some activity still going on. But what amount is the next determining factor. On the 8th Billy will go for a Petscan. On the 10th he and I will meet with Dr. Bednar to review the results. If there is a small amount of activity then he can graduate to radiation. We already have an appointment with Dr. Greenberg for later that day. That is just a second consult to see what he says, since Billy is still debating sloan vs hunterdon. If there is a medium amount of activity, then more chemo. This could mean another round of 4 months, or a different medication series all together. If there is a larger amount of activity, then we look at bone marrow or stem cell transplants.....
cross your fingers

And down the stretch they come!

That's horse talk for we're almost finished with phase 1 of our battle with cancer. I say we because it's been a team effort led by Wendy, Zill, my friends and family. Our battle started 4 months ago and I'm doing just fine although no one can onfirm that quite yet. The summer has flown by and I'm disappointed that we missed out on some things. Not the kids though Sammy and Jessica did a week and some weekends at the beach, had sleep overs, trips to Great Adventure and lots ofother fun. Sam spent a week at cubscout camp despite his fathers objections and had the time of his life. Both got to go to soccer camp for a week (thank you Larry and Jacqueline) . I got to play alot of golf only to realize I still suck at it, well by my standards anyway. Thank you Tommy O, David and Andrew, Piercie and everyone else who got me out of bed and onto the course. Definately kept my spirits up despite the pain in my joints when I would hit the ball. I was also able to revive my relationship with God which is always strong but even stronger now. I've thanked him for my good days this summer, all the wonderful people in my life, the joy I get from watching my dogs run through the park and of course all the birdies and pars on the golf course. We won't mention my thoughts on double bogeys at this time.

Now here's my deal. Still feeling pretty good and last round of chemo/Nuelasta set for Weds.-Thurs. this week. Will be down and out till Labor Day then should bounce back as usual. Don't know where I'm at with the tumors but will get Petscan early September to find out. If they've shrunk down radiation will begin, asap as far as I'm concerned and I plan on pushing that point with he doctors. I feel I'm ready for it and still strong enough to deal with the many side effects so "bring it on". Radiation is 20 minutes a day for 10 consecutive days, 10 days off for recovery, then 10 more consecutive days of treatments. People tend to lose weight during radiation and become extremely fatigued and sickly. Again only a temporary setback and the radiation should kill off the remaining tumors. All goes well and I'm off to California for the Breeder Cup last week of October then fully recovered by the Holidays. Let's hope this scenario pans out.

Finally it's nearing crunch time for me so hope that the chemo has done it's job. Hope that radiation starts soon and does it's job without beating me up too badly. Hope for little side effects and a speedy recovery process. Should I decide on Sloan Kettering for radiation I will be looking for rides and many of you have volunteered so be prepared I'll need your support. Alot of questions to be answered next few weeks so please keep me in your thoughts.

As always Thank You

one more time, one more time, one more time

One more time, that's what he keeps saying. I think that is what is helping him get through this one. He had the second to last treatment 5 days ago. I keep repeating that it just gets worse each time, but that's the way it is. Usually he is somewhat recovered by now, but that still hasnt happened. He keeps saying (hoping) maybe tomorrow he will feel better.
We spoke with Dr. Bednar on Wednesday before his treatment. He has hopes that everything is going as planned. Unfortunately, they wont know until he does testing after the last treatment.
Billy has lost weight this time, but not too much that they are concerned. At the last treatment they damaged his vein so they were unable to use his "good spot" this time. Trish did her best to find him another good vein, but it wasnt very pleasant. It took 2 tries on his left arm, then they had to switch after 15 minutes and get another line into the other side. Needless to say, n0t a pleasant way to begin the day.
He is usually able to cope just using Tylenol, but this time the oxycodone has been used a lot. I called him earlier today and didnt even recognize his voice. He cant turn his head because of the pain in his neck. His throat is hurting along with the rest of his body. He isnt really answering the phone much, so dont be offended, it just hurts to talk.
He goes back to the doctor on Wednesday for a check-up and then hopefully next week will be his last treatment... will keep you posted.

2 left

Apparently you'al are getting on Billy's case because there hasnt been an updated message since his last treatment... sorry, "life gets in the way".
Last Wednesday was his 6th of 8 treatments, so we are almost to the end. Once he completes the 8th treatment, he will get another test to see if it all worked. If the results are good, he moves on to Radiation. If not, he is "supposed" to start over. I dont know how well that will go over with him. He has been getting a lot of mixed reviews on the radiation, and it hasnt been pretty. He is tough though... he will push, or "be pushed" on...
As you know the treatments have been getting harder with each passing one. The nurses arent overly fond of Billy, in fact it is like he has his own personal nurse who takes care of him. He tried bribery with bagels, but that never softened the blow of the needles. The nurses are coming around slowly though, who can resist his charm?
He had quite a few visitors at his last treatment. Although he is a bit "out of it", he really appreciates the support. I was there in the beginning hours, then came Lisa from the gym, then the ever faithful Zilly. He had a very pleasant surprise with Ellen his sister and her husband Mike coming and staying for a long visit. That really meant a lot.
I wont describe what the medicine does to his mental and physical state, its pretty hard just watching. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. During the treatments he is just really tired and ill feeling. The next few days are the days where very few people are allowed to see him. That is when he is at his worst feeling.
Thursday he had the steroid shot... Again, delayed pain.. Again, worse every time.
On his good days, he looks fantastic. As he tells me often, better looking every day. For some reason he doesnt really look sick on those good days. I think its hard for some people to think of him as sick. I know my kids are that way... he doesnt look sick, so they keep behaving like kids... which brings me back to Thursday...
After getting his shot, Billy got a text messages that some of the guys from his softball team werent going to make it to the playoff game.... Forfeit? not a chance!... You guessed it, and as some of you already heard... Billy showed, with me and dogs in tow. Yes, it wasnt the smartest thing to do... but think about it, I wouldnt expect anything else from Billy... and I think that 50% of us would have tried to do the same. He played catcher and struggled to hold his own... Stumpy, very kindly tried to "walk" Billy every time he came to bat... Yeah right... Billy wasnt going home without a hit. He eventually did get one. They didnt win the game, but he certainly gave his all. We then went home and he crashed into bed in a fever. Agreeably not smart, but its who he is. He would have felt as if he let his team down if he didnt try.
It took until yesterday before he felt somewhat better. The days are like roller coasters, he feels ok in the morning, then by afternoon he crashes.
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